The Miracle of Seth

I was pondering the circumstances around Seth's birth, and can see God's hand and plan at work in a mighty way. As you know, Luke and I had been trying to have a baby for the past 7 years. We had gone to multiple specialists and all said we were fine, that it was "unexplained infertility". I called it the "God factor." So, we continued to pray, that God's will be done and that things would come about in His perfect timing, not ours. We didn't feel right trying to force God's hand by taking fertility drugs or doing surgical methods to try and become pregnant so we just waited.

In our early marriage Luke and I set down with a "goals/wish" list for what we wanted in the next five to ten years of our lives. We listed things such as: buy a house, pay off our car, pay down debt, buy a new camera, and have children. We also had a list of our top five dream vacation spots, among them were: California, New York, the Carribean, and Colorado. As we waited for our little bundle of joy (impatiently at times) we slowly began to check things off of the list of desires. Our car was paid off and we had gone to Colorado and California in the first few years of marriage. By our five year anniversary we had a substantial amount of debt paid down, took a trip to NY and the Carribean, and by the end of the year - bought a house. Now, the only thing on our list left was children. Amidst my prayers for a baby, I told the Lord He could have our first child, and even (foolishly) prayed for even a miscarriage to show me we could have a baby. About January of 2007 I had a brief vision of a future son - he looked just like me as a child with curly brown hair and laughing eyes. He was so strong and beautiful, and my only thought was "this is not Gabriel." Strange thought, since Gabriel was what we had agreed to name our first son, but that was nonetheless my main thoughts about it. In March of the same year I found out I was pregnant - I awoke early one morning, at about 3 am with an urgent need to take a pregnancy test. It appeared as though it would be negative so I threw it away and went back to bed. The next morning I awoke and felt I needed to recheck the results, and to my surprise it was positive. However, I did not feel the elation I thought I would feel about getting a positive result, instead an overwhelming sadness came over me as I felt we were going to lose this child. The next day I started bleeding, and over the course of a month and a half we lost our first baby. Although we did not know the gender of the baby, I had a strong feeling it was a boy, and we decided to name him Gabriel David, our angel baby. Through it all I felt God's peace and love, He carried me through some rough months. I finally found healing on my birthday that year, November 25th, which was Gabriel's due date. I realize that even though it wasn't what I had wanted for our family, God was faithful, and He answered my prayers.

My grandma took a bad turn with her health when she had a stroke in late 2007. I felt strongly that we would have a child around the time my grandma passed away, to help my mom cope with the loss. Luke and I decided to start the adoption process, as we had been putting it off for a long time and felt the timing was right to start our family. After completing the majority of paperwork towards the adoption, and completing the first meeting of our home study, we anxiously awaited our child. My grandma passed away in June, and at the same time I took another pregnancy test and found out I was pregnant again. I felt a real peace about this child, and even though there were worries about loss again in the first trimester, Luke prayed about it and God pointed him to Psalm 113:9 "He makes a woman in a childless home a joyful mother." That has become the life verse for this pregnancy.

I received news yesterday that the credit union I have worked for the past five and a half years decided to close my branch. I am going to be laid off on February 27th, the very day I had requested to start my maternity leave. This is significant, because it means not only do I get the money that I was planning to get when leaving for severance, but they are throwing in an additional 5 weeks of pay, plus unemployment benefits. How perfect the timing for everything was, is just incredible! We are very blessed, and I just wanted to share this brief testimony that surrounds the birth of Seth Gabriel Erickson - "Appointed/anointed strong man of God" as his name means, he was definitely appointed for this time in history, and I can't wait to see what he becomes! May God bless you and I hope this serves as a reminder that we serve a faithful God. Although we often travel through life with blinders on, if we hold out our hand and trust God to guide us, He will allow us to accomplish much more than we would have done on our own.

Okay, we'll tell...

We are naming our baby Seth Gabriel Erickson. Seth means "annointed or appointed", and Gabriel means "strong man of God". Seth was the name of Eve's "replacement son" for Abel, and in the same way, Seth is sort of our replacement son for Gabriel. We wanted to tell our immediate family first before announcing it to the world, and I'm happy to say that everyone likes it. =) Just 10 weeks, 2 days, and 15 hours remaining...

Precious Baby

Sweet baby, I love you so much!
How I am longing for that first touch,
To see if you look more like daddy or me,
I can't wait to squish your little cheeks!

80 Days!!

Wow, it's crazy to look at the countdown and realize I have already gone through 200 days, with only 80 days left until baby is here! I'm getting excited. He definitely is starting to show his personality more, wiggling around, kicking and punching. I can tell loud noises scare him, because he got jumpy when Luke was scraping the windows on the car the other day and also towards the end of the movie the Incredible Hulk when the enemy gave a loud roar. I found out yesterday that babies cry in the womb, and actually cry real tears! I thought that was amazing!

I had my prenatal appt today and was shocked by the weight gain, which I will not reveal, and also by the fact that I now seem to have high blood pressure. I was a 140/80, which they are going to keep an eye on but haven't told me to do anything differently at this point. I'm now down to biweekly appointments, and then at 36 weeks will be switching to weekly. A big step today was telling my boss that I was going to start maternity leave starting March...this gives me a week before the due date to nest and get settled. So, that leaves 47 more days of work...that is if baby doesn't chose to make an early entrance!

We Have a Name!

...but we're not telling! =) We kinda learned our lesson on this one, I think it's better we keep our mouths shut until baby is born as I know some people are quite opinionated and I would prefer not to hear bad things about it....it took us 7 months to agree on something as it is! The first name is nothing we have mentioned before so guessing won't help. I'm just thrilled to know that we found the perfect name, and I love the meaning behind it. We think it's a really powerful name, and it's kinda fun having a secret.

Praise the Lord!

God has proven so faithful over these past few months and weeks. I have so much to be thankful for. It is just now hitting me, with my little one squirming away, that my life is about to change drastically. It still hasn't really felt that "real" to me, even though I'm only days away from my third tri. I guess I do have a few updates.

1) We decided to go with the Bumgenius 3.0 cloth diapers, they are the closest to disposables that we found and very highly rated. Plus, they grow with baby so we should only need the same 24 diapers I'm buying from birth to potty training. The parent reviews also said they work great at night, unlike the Kushies I had been contemplating previously.

2) Baby hadn't been kicking as hard as he was previously and I didn't feel like I felt him as much as I was supposed to so I made a call in to the doctor a few days ago. I had an ultrasound yesterday to make sure everything was still okay, and baby was perfect as always. He is now head down, ready to meet the world! His little legs were crossed like the perfect gentleman and his kicks were mainly to the back of the uterus as well as the placenta which is why I hadn't been feeling it as much. He was so huge I could barely tell what to make out on the ultrasound, his head barely fit on the screen. It was cool to see the brain and his huge hands. I told Luke that he has daddy's hands and was almost concerned with how large they were but examining other 26 week ultrasound picts I've determined they are normal sized for a baby of that term. I just didn't expect him to grow so much in just 6 weeks. Also, I passed the glucose test, which is a big answer to prayer because I was at high risk for gestational diabetes (and passing means I don't have it)

3) My company has been talking about layoffs and shutting down branches and it turns out my branch is one of the top picks. So, if that is the case they may be shutting us down around the time the baby is due. Talk about perfect timing! I mean, the baby entered existance as my grandma was exiting, to help my mom cope with the pain of losing her mom. Now it looks like he may be entering the "real" world at the time when I would be out of work anyway. God definitely has a plan, and it's so apparent just looking back at the last few months. I can't wait to see what he has in store for us!

God Takes Care of Us

I just want to praise and thank God for what He has done in our lives. It is so exciting after all the years of waiting to finally be expecting a healthy baby. He has taken care of us in the recent weeks, here are a few examples:
1) At my 24 week appt I passed the glucose test, so I don't have gestational diabetes which I was at high risk of getting
2) Baby was less active in the past couple of days so I called in the nurseline and they had me come in today for an ultrasound. I didn't get any pictures, but my he has grown! His head barely fit on the screen. He is now head down, in the birthing position, waiting for his entrance into the world. We also saw his legs and feet crossed like the perfect gentleman, though it appeared that his little kicks were cushioned by the placenta as well as the back wall of my uterus (thus my not feeling him kick as much). It was great to see him alert and awake, and I even felt him kicking as they did the scan so I could see him move while we watched his little body. I can't believe we only have 13 weeks left!
3) My work has been seriously talking about shutting down branches next year and my branch is a top contender. If we do close it would likely be in March, right around the time my bundle of joy enters this world. Does that seem perfectly planned, or what? Yes, everything about this baby points to the evidence of God and His plan for us - from baby's conception around the time of my grandma's passing, to his entrance to the world possibly around the time I would have been out of work anyway.

Praise the Lord!

Remembering Gabriel

Today I remember our first baby, Gabriel David Erickson, who would have been one year old today. It is always with mixed feelings that I celebrate my birthday, knowing that a special little one in Heaven was also supposed to share it with me. I told the Lord earlier this year that all I wanted for my golden birthday (today) was a healthy baby and He granted my wish. As I sit hear and marvel at the beautiful life within me, I also think of how life would be so much different if Gabe had survived. I don't yet know what we will name our baby, but I especially like the meaning behind Zachary Gabriel. Zachary means "the Lord remembered" and Gabriel would be a tribute to his brother in Heaven. Together, it also means "The Lord remembered Gabriel" (and gave us another son).

Nursery is Completed!

Today I put the finishing touches on the nursery. Special thanks to mom and Luke for all your help in decorating, sewing, painting, carpentry work, etc. It was a lot of work, but I think it paid off in a big way! I can't wait for our baby to enjoy this!

Baby Name Poll

Since Luke and I are still undecided, please help us out by voting in our naming poll:

http://www.babycenter.com/403_completely-undecided_8746765_165128177986.bc

Baby Hiccups

Today was another first! I felt the first baby hiccups today. It was so cute, I first thought they were little kicks, though they felt a little stronger then normal. However, it was very rythmic and continued for longer than normal (about 1-2 minutes) in the same spot. That's when I realized what they were. So darn cute. I can't wait to see the little baby, I know I'm going to coo over every little hiccup and sneeze when he's born. Only 18 weeks, two days, and ten hours to go... =)

It's a Boy!

Sorry about the delay in posting, I was pretty exhausted after all of the running around we did yesterday. I will post picts later, but it is a boy! My mommy instincts were right! I was asking the ultrasonographer about something on the screen and referred to "is that his.." and she said, "Have you been calling it a him the whole time?" I said "yes" and she said "well, you are right!" Baby was sleeping at the appointment (he was up at around 9 am and the appt was at 10)and had his little legs crossed. The nurse had to prod the area to get him to kick and show his goods. =) She said he was a perfect baby, and I was really happy to hear that. The picts aren't the traditional profile shots as baby was facing the camera the whole time, but we luckily got to video the whole thing so we can replay those moments. He kicked a little bit (when she was poking) and also opened and closed his mouth a few times (that was Luke's favorite part).

19 Weeks

Hard to believe I'm almost half way done! It is so very fun to feel baby move throughout the day. This morning at around 5:45 am baby was up and squiggling around and it was the first time I could feel distinct body parts. Usually it's a kick or punch here or there, but hard to determine which. Well, I felt a kick, then I felt the baby's head graze my tummy, and then a soft punch after that. I could tell baby was upside down! I have been having fun "playing" with baby when (s)he is awake. They say baby has a favorite sleep position by now, so I was on my right side and could feel the baby moving around trying to get comfy and when it settled down I flipped to my left side. Sure enough, baby squiggled around trying to get comfy again. Actually, baby has been very active since I ate two killer Oatmeal Caramel Chocolate bars that I made last night. They were soo good. Baby has been on a sugar high ever since. Baby is still awake right now and it's only 8 am, whereas (s)he usually sleeps until around 8:30am. Next week I get to find out the gender of the baby! I can't wait, and just hope baby participates so we can know for certain.

Adorable little baby

The above picture is how a 17 week old fetus looks in the womb. Very cute and looks just like a baby! I have now had the pleasure of feeling baby for almost a week. This morning the baby did the first somersault that I could identify and it was also kicking away. I heard the baby's "schedule" isn't fixed until next week, but so far it seems (s)he is most active at night. From about 6pm to 9pm I feel constant wiggles and kicks. Also, I feel them in the middle of the night visits to the restroom, so I have a feeling we are in for some long nights ahead of us!

Quickening

It's official! Today were my first "real" baby kicks! Once I started feeling it, I've been feeling it on and off today. My new nickname for the baby is "squirrely baby". It all started around 8:30 this morning when I sat down at work to start my day. All of a sudden I felt, slosh, kick, slosh, kick! Like a little goldfish swimming around in my tummy that kicked ocassionally. It's pretty cool. From what the doctor told me what I had previously felt at around 10 weeks was gas (I could feel it better because everything gets pushed more to the surface with a growing baby). This is definitely baby, though! I did hear that once you feel it, it doesn't go away, that you feel the little wiggles throughout the day, though the baby seems most active after I eat a snack or drink some water.

Quad Screen

The doctor called back (in record speed, mind you) to tell us that our quad screen came back normal! So, praise God for that! I wasn't worried about Downs Syndrome or anything, but always wonder about spinal defects, etc. Sounds like baby is perfect! The quad screen measures four things: alpha-fetoprotein (protein produced by baby), hCG (hormone in placenta), estriol (estrogen produced by baby and placenta), and Inhibin-A (protein produced by placenta and ovaries). The purpose of the test is to screen for neural tube defects (like spina bifida) and chromosomal abnormalities (like Down and Edwards Syndrome). So, it does help to put my mind at ease that baby soared through the first tri with no defects. Those folic acid pills seem to work! =)

16 week appointment

We went to our 16 week appt today and things are still on track! We got to hear the heartbeat, and I had Luke record it this time! I'm going to see if I can get him to put it as a clip on here. It was pretty cool! The doc said it was measuring at 150 bpm, but on the video I could see the scanner and it was saying 147. Luke said she just rounded up.. I guess it doesn't matter because both are normal. Things are going so quickly, it's hard to believe that in only a month we will know the gender for certain and will get our last peak at the baby before birth (unless we do a 4D ultrasound). The morning sickness is just about gone at this point, thank God! I did throw up on Sun, but when I do throw up it's usually only once or twice a week. That's amazing compared to after every meal all week long! =) I still haven't had any real cravings, more food aversions then anything. I've got a small bump now, and can feel the pop out of my uterus. By 20 weeks I should really be showing, I can't wait! I still feel like I'm in the stage where a stranger would think "she's either pretty fat or pregnant". I can't wait until there is no doubt! Also, what I thought was the baby a few weeks ago tapping away in my belly turns out to have just been gas...*sigh* so starting this week they said I may be able to tell a few flutters, but not likely until I'm 18-20 weeks. That's the next landmark I'm shooting for!

Diapers!

I never thought I would even imagine I would consider it, but I'm now thinking of cloth diapers! I'm not a huge "environmental freak", but I do try not to be wasteful. From what I've been reading, it looks as though one child on disposable diapers could equal 1-2 TONS of waste. Plus, the cloth are a whole lot cheaper, about $350 total, whereas the disposables are around $1500. Plus, if we have more kiddos I can reuse them! That's exciting. I still plan to use disposables at night and maybe on vacations or if someone is babysitting, but either way it seems like mostly cloth is the way to go! I ended up purchasing the Bum Genius 3.0 AIO diapers, can't wait to see how they work!

I'm amazed at how time is flying by with this pregnancy. I'm 15.5 weeks and have my next OBGyn appt on Monday. The following appt is my ultrasound! I can't wait. However, I've had two recent dreams that really make me think this is a boy. The first dream I had a toddler and a newborn (both boys). The second dream I had a seven and a five year old in school (both boys again). In both dreams the older boy looked a lot like me and was obviously biological, and the second child I get the impression was adopted. Which is perfect, because we were planning to get back into the adoption process a year after our baby is born. =) I still eventually will want a girl as well, but figure we can always adopt again if things don't happen naturally. My goal is 3 kids minimum, 6 max. I hated being an only child, so definitely plan to adopt right away if I don't get pregnant within a year after baby is born. It's hard to believe there is just 24 weeks to go!

12 week checkup

Well, we went in on Monday for the 12 week checkup. It went really well, and we got to hear the baby's heartbeat with a Doppler! It was really cool. It was like "whoosh, whoosh, whoosh". It measured at 152 bpm which is right on track. The doc said "there's definitely a little person in there!". I scheduled my 20 week ultrasound for October 23rd, I can't wait! I still feel like it's a boy, but I would be more than happy with a girl as well. I'm just thankful this baby is strong and healthy! The doctor said the loss rate at this point is only 1%. They also gave me Zofran last Friday to stop the vomiting, and it literally is a miracle pill. I just wish I had asked for it sooner! The insurance company would only cover 12 pills, though, as it's so expensive, but I've been cutting them in half to make it go further and it still does the trick. The doc thinks I should get off it at the end of the week, because the placenta should take over by then and my hormones should start becoming more regulated.

New ticker

I thought this was a cute ticker, a way to peak at our little bean growing. Hard to believe how much baby has grown. I have been very ill this week and have thrown up everyday. I'm not complaining though, just means baby is still healthy. I can't wait for this trimester to be over, though, so I can feel better again and regain my energy.

Nursery picts

In case people wanted to see the painting we did this past winter on the nursery. =)

8 Week Baby Ultrasound

We saw the baby for the first time! Isn't (s)he cute! It appears the baby is waving at us. =) The baby was "perfect" according to the nurse, and the heart beat was 166 bps which is really good. I was a little bummed to find out we won't know the gender until the 20 week appointment, but most of all I'm just happy we are having ONE (yes, one is plenty, thank you very much!) healthy baby.

Morning Sickness

Well, today was the first time I threw up since I've been pregnant. I'm 7.5 weeks along, and have been queasy most mornings from around 9 am to 5 pm (convenient, right?). The height of morning sickness is around 9 weeks, so something to look forward to. =) I actually feel a lot better now, the queasiness has subsided (for now). It's also reassuring that everything is going well with baby since the symptoms are getting worse. I can't wait for our first ultrasound, only 5 days away! I know when I see our little bunny on screen with a strong heartbeat, it will be all I need to get through the next few months.

Postponed...

We decided to postpone the adoption process. Why? God decided to send us a little surprise of our own! I found out I'm 4 weeks pregnant, and expected due date is March 9, 2009. I'll keep ya posted!

Waiting on baby!

We are now about half way thorough the adoption process. Our story began on January 31, 2008. That is the day we mailed in the official application to start the process. I had butterflies in my stomach, knowing that my life would never be the same. Since then, we have attended our first homestudy meeting (3/7/08) in Fargo, ND. We are going through Christian Family Life Services, a Christian adoption agency that services ND and MN. We are hoping to get a ND baby, as the process is apparently cleaner and less risky. We'll have to see!

So far we have gone through about a tree worth of paperwork, including background checks, physicals, and budgets. We are on the home stretch, to my knowledge this is all we have left to do:
3 Homestudy visits (a Thurs and Fri in Fargo, ND, and one in our home)
A 15 page picture profile
A Dear Birthparent Letter
A Child Wishlist (where they want you to specify your wants in the child: race, gender, etc - we wish it were just open so it didn't feel like it was a shopping list)
Finish the MMPI (we've had the exam, now just need to get the results!)

That's it! Sounds like a lot, but I'm sure it will all be over before we know it. We are hoping to be in the "pool" by July 28th, our 7 year anniversary. I'll keep you posted on all updates!